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Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Gold Medal Stupidity

Watching the opinion writers at The State vie to see who can manufacture the most hideous inanities, transparent lies, and self-righteous twaddle is like watching a particularly close Kentucky Derby. As the riders bunch up, their horses galloping furiously, you can see that one jockey's whip is hitting another's animals haunches. You wonder how the beasts of burden don't fall over each other and tumble to the ground, what with all the speed and the thicket of moving hooves. You imagine that any horse stuck in the middle of that crowd would almost be carried along by the sheer velocity of the tumult around it.

Today, Cindi Ross Scoppe sticks out her handsome muzzle with particular aplomb. In a death-defying feat of stupidity, Scoppe's article combines all the adrenaline-pumping excitement of a 7th grade civics lesson with the intellectual firepower of a hot dog eating contest, to claim that last month's refusal to vote on Put Parents in Charge was actually. . . a vote on Put Parents in Charge.

Here's what Ms. Scoppe—who will never win a Nobel Prize, a Pulitzer, or the respect of any half-educated human being—had to say about what happened:


[I]n the South Carolina General Assembly, bills don’t actually get killed. They get sent back to committee...

But not this time. This time, the House, apparently understanding that a powerful message needed to be sent, actually voted to table Gov. Mark Sanford’s pet plan to pay parents to withdraw their children from the public schools. There could be no confusion about how House members stood on this divisive measure.
The implication, of course, is that this time the General Assembly actually took a stand rather than adopting their usual course gaseous posturing and flaccid symbolism. Scoppe makes it clear that she's no fan of the Governor's "pet plan" and that she's ecstatic and grateful that the reform measure was defeated after their "straightforward and courageous vote."

There's only one problem: it didn't go down like that. Here's what actually happened, according to The State:

Debate Wednesday was expected to take hours. Instead, three quick procedural votes to kill the bill took just 10 minutes.
It ought to be shocking that a writer for South Carolina's largest newspaper can't tell the difference between a full and fair debate and procedural legerdemain. If you ran a daycare center the way that Brad Warthen runs his newspaper, it would be staffed almost exclusively with pedophiles.

Posted by Bill Smith at 10:37 AM | 16 comments

Comments:
No offense, hoss, but it doesn't help your debunking of a newspaper when you yourself do not have the wherewithall to do a little proofreading.

I find it funny that you somehow managed to get CINDI Ross Scoppe's name correctly spelled in the link and misspelled in the entry.
# posted by Anonymous : 5/31/2005 02:13:00 PM
 
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
# posted by Bill Smith : 5/31/2005 02:37:00 PM
 
Thanks for pointing out the oversight. It has been corrected.

Also, anyone who calls me "hoss" is automatically my friend for life. I would even make friends with Yasser Arafat or Brad Warthen if they called me by that delightful appellation (and they were still alive.) Okay, maybe not Brad Warthen.
# posted by Bill Smith : 5/31/2005 02:38:00 PM
 
Bill,

Great post. Incredible logic...although I did have to get out a dictionary to define the term "legerdemain".
# posted by Capital Man : 5/31/2005 04:26:00 PM
 
OhhhNooo, Mr. Bill,

Before I address your latest rancid slurs with my typically light hearted and entertaining humor, I’d like to address PPIC.

“Hoss,” you really need to broaden your understanding of the world.

Watch Corridor of Shame with some black children and white children in a Corridor of Shame school.

Explain to them and their parents what PPIC will do for them.

See if you can convince them. Good Luck. You’ll be embarrassed.

Here is the reason why PPIC dead.

Schools in the Corridor have a lawsuit against S.C. challenging the way S.C. funds all schools.

S.C. is going to lose.

Take a look at other states facing this kind of lawsuit. There are many. For example:

Recently, New York’s Supreme Court ordered their legislature to increase spending for NYC schools by $14.83 billion (no typo).

http://www.heartland.org/Article.cfm?artId=16688

That includes $5.63 billion on annual per pupil spending plus another $9.2 billion for buildings and renovations.

N.Y. argued that all they are required to provide is an 8th grade education.

Kind of like our miserable defense of “minimally adequate" education.

But don’t take my word for it. Check my link.

So, when the Courts in S.C. rule in favor of the schools in the Corridor, PPIC will be quickly forgotten in the dust heap of other bad legislation.

Now, back to your latest rancid slurs.

The reference to pedophiles is particularly offensive.

It surprised me you would stoop to such a perverted analogy.

But, Bill nothing about you should surprise people.

Let’s review your latest:

“…Gold Medal Stupidity …”
“…hideous inanities…”
“…transparent lies…”
“…self-righteous twaddle…
“…hitting another's animals haunches.” (Kinky?)
“…death-defying feat of stupidity…”
“…intellectual firepower of a hot dog eating contest…”
“…half-educated human being…”
“…gaseous posturing…”
“…flaccid symbolism.”
“…procedural legerdemain.”
“…pedophiles.” (Sick!)

Bill, you seem to be running out of steam. Some of these slurs seem familiar. Hmmm.

Are you still reading “Word Power” in Reader’s Digest? Did you miss the latest edition?

Some of these slurs remind me that you once accused me of "juvenile name-calling" just because I suggested a double dose of Viagra washed down with a big glass of Metamucil might clear up some of your anger and frustration.

Take care, Hoss.
Your Friend,
TMNS
# posted by Read This Hoss : 5/31/2005 11:48:00 PM
 
In theaters everywhere.
http://www.corridorofshame.com/
# posted by Click Me Now : 5/31/2005 11:50:00 PM
 
what can one say? this midnight stalker guy is a total fool. basing one's entire opinion on one single link/documentary?
# posted by No One : 6/01/2005 08:18:00 AM
 
Mr Dear Friend, no one,

"Fool" you call me?
Read Matthew 5:22 again and again.
Then, read it again.

You seem stuck on the word "fool."

Get Mr. Bill to send you his back copies of Reader's Digest. Read the section called "Word Power."

Pretty soon, you too can be using big fancy slurs like Mr. Bill.

Remember, Matthew 5:22.

Your friend,
TMNS
# posted by Total Fool : 6/01/2005 11:13:00 AM
 
"Put Parents in Charge" was an abominable concept, and I'll fight it every time it comes back.

However, your blog amuses me. ;)
# posted by kc : 6/01/2005 10:29:00 PM
 
KC

Loved your post. Mr. Bill is really kinda amusing ain't he?

Your post was quick, classy and pointed.

I just bookmarked your blog.

I'll make it a point to read up there.

Your friend,
The Midnight Stalker (TMNS)
# posted by Anonymous : 6/01/2005 11:05:00 PM
 
It is you, MNS, not I, who seem fixiated on the word, "fool." such is the extent of your morbid fixation with the term, that you ignored the remainder of my post to concentrate on that single word.
# posted by No One : 6/02/2005 08:21:00 AM
 
Yes, no one.
I did pretty much ignore you.

I promise to pay attention to you if you ever leave anything that makes sense or that is even slightly entertaining.
# posted by no one : 6/02/2005 10:16:00 AM
 
Likewise, TMS.
# posted by kc : 6/04/2005 12:23:00 PM
 
KC,
You, on the other hand, do tend to make sense. I may not always agree with you, but your style suggests I can and will respect your opinions. Class shows.
Thanks for being our there.
TMNS
# posted by Anonymous : 6/05/2005 12:24:00 AM
 
out there
# posted by Anonymous : 6/05/2005 02:50:00 AM
 
PPIC is an excellent idea, because it would help the parents who care rescue their kids from the public school system.
Face it. Most kids in SC are going to end up conforming to the slack and backward lower-class culture. Why waste resources on them when the few worthwhile kids can be helped to amount to something and make a difference?
The class system down here exists for good reason, and I don't care to lose more tax money so it can be wasted on trailer trash of ANY color.
# posted by Anonymous : 1/14/2006 09:32:00 PM
 
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