Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Posted by Bill Smith at 1:01 PM | 6 comments

OhhhhNoooo, Mr. Bill,

More sour, rancid slurs from you, but nothing creative.

Actually, I could have described them as acerbic, fetid degradations.

But, I don’t like to sound pompous.

On the other hand you wrote:
“…slanted journalism…”
“…obscenely tendentious farce…”
“…towering mound of speculative twaddle...”
“…thumbsucking nonsense…”
“…specious, paraphrased arguments…”

Why do you stoop to mordant, feculent smears in almost every one of your pontifications? Sounds silly, don't it.

Mr. Bill, I hope this is not too much to ask. Please try to occasionally interject at least some intellectually stimulating analysis in your harangues ad absurdum.

Question: What does Mr. Bill have in common with the Pu`u `O`o Vent, Kilauea Volcano, Hawaii (The Big Island)?

Answer: Both regularly vent caustic fumes without any respect for the affects on civilization.

Your friend,
The Midnight Stalker

P.S. To see Kilauea visit...
http://hvo.wr.usgs.gov/cam/

It has 5 minute “live” photo updates. Remember the time difference and that the vents are often obscured by fumes, fog and/or rain.
 

Midnight Stalker:

There is a familiar saying among bloggers, "Don't feed the trolls." (The word "troll" refers to a mischievous commenter whose purpose for existence is not constructive criticism but only to cause trouble.) By responding to your comments, I'm violating this cardinal rule of blogging. May the blogging gods forgive me.

Why am I breaking this cardinal rule? The teacher in me finds it difficult to let ignorance go unmolested.

So listen up, Midnight Stalker, I'm telling you this only once. (Since all of your comments are substantively identical, once should be sufficient.)

Every comment you submit accuses me of using slander or an hominem attacks. You are skilled at making it sound plausible enough that someone who is uneducated might believe you. Then you dutifully trot out a parade of prose snippets that are quoted out of context.

Indeed, the parade grows ever longer in your every post and it has become clear that you read every update to this blog. This is a truly impressive level of dedication. I am deeply touched by your commitment to this website.

Here's the problem. Your quotations of my verbiage prove exactly nothing, except perhaps that I am given to colorful writing. Although you extract quotes without context, anyone can go back and read the actual sentences. Everyone of the allegations made against The State is tied closely to a substantive critique of what appears in the paper. There are no ad hominem attacks. (By contrast, an ad hominem attack might be something like "Brad Warthen's mom is so fat...)

So you accuse my attacks of being substance-less. But every post includes a link to a story, a quote from the story, and a critique of what is wrong.

Is the criticism harsh? Sure. But I dare say it's accurate. And that's more than we can say for The State.

Also, Midnight Stalker, let me ask you: what section of the paper do you work for?

(You don't have to answer. The right to remain anonymous is part-and-parcel with freedom of speech. Our constitution's framers made use of it--and I do too.)

Anyhow, I hope this comment helps clarify where I'm coming from.

And please keep reading this blog. Your sunny presence gives me a reason to wake up in the morning!

Ta,
 

OhhhNooo, Mr. Bill,

Such anger is not good for you.
Please, don’t stroke out.
We need you for comic relief.

Actually, my comments are very constructive.

You complimented me for reading your blog. Don’t let it go to your head.

It’s like a train wreck. Train wrecks are disasters. Everybody looks, but once you've seen one, you’ve seen them all. I just enjoy your comic relief.

You wrote about “…an hominem attack…”
That should be “…an ad hominem attack…”
Latin is tough to master. You used it correctly the second time.

You wrote to me, “So listen up…I’m telling you this only once.”
Sieg Heil, Mein Fuhrer!

Thank you for complimenting me on my writing skills. Your comments are, indeed, in bad taste and not plausible.

Your talk about “…slander…” I’ve never accused you of it.

But, I’ll proudly attend the trial when you face slander charges.

You wrote about the constitution. Capitalize it. Constitution.

You seem focused on “…verbiage…,” your “…colorful writing…” and you seem worried about “…quotes without context…”

Mr. Bill, it’s about your bad manners.

You wrote:
“But I dare say it’s accurate.”

You left out a comma: “But,”
And, you are consistently inaccurate.

I really don’t have the time to address your other grammar and punctuation errors.

So, let’s get to your new rancid slurs:

“…troll…”
”…ignorance…”
“…unmolested…”
“…slander and hominem attacks…”
“Brad Warthen’s mom is so fat…”

Mr. Bill, just how well do you know Brad Warthen's momma? Does Brad know about you and his momma? Does your wife?

Finally, you used a variation of the word “molested” in the same document with a remark about a “fat” lady.

Bill, inquiring minds may start to wonder about you. We still remember your affection for the phrases:
“…press organ…”
“…craven…”
“…bottom…”
“…lower…”
And we love this one:
"…sheer, unadulterated ecstasy…”

Mr. Bill, you are too kinky. Clean up your act before you get in trouble.

Love and kisses,
The Midnight Stalker

P.S. Did you read the paper?
PPIC is dead, again.
 

Stalker you are really doing a great job. You are very entertaining and you really to a great job exposing this Blog and the mysterious "Mr. Bill." I remember the old Saturday Night Live. The name really fits. Mr. Bill writes so nasty about articles in a paper that he claims is the worst in the universe. I wonder why he reads it. I wonder if he has nothing better in his life. He sounds like a very sad and lonely person who need a friend.
 

I don’t know whether Mr. Bill needs a friend, but I am convinced that The Midnight Stalker needs a therapist.
 

Mr. Bill is a really sad and lonely guy. His only friend is anonymous. ;)
Perhaps my link will help - anonymous.